Surrender

a memory box (called 'Hug') that I bought for Max's collar

Max passed away today. He had a transfusion last night, and the vet called this morning to ask if she could prescribe a medicine called ciclosporin. At first I agreed to a two-week trial, despite the medication's hefty price. A few hours later, I went to see him, and he didn't seem any better than he was before the transfusion. My mom and I discussed it with the vet, and we learned that he would've had to be on ciclosporin for at least six months...which would've cost roughly $1600, on top of his prednisone and office visits. And there would be no guarantee that any of this would work--in fact, one of the adverse effects of ciclosporin is that it can increase cell destruction. The vet said he would probably only live another four to six years, and during that time would probably have several relapses. That would be the best case scenario.

He looked so sad and sleepy and scared. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let him suffer through a two-week trial of a medicine that I knew I couldn't afford to keep him on for six months. Knowing that the outcome would almost certainly be death, I couldn't justify letting him hang on just so I could have more time with him. Thankfully, he went very peacefully. He just laid his head down and went to sleep.

"Max is a star now.
You can look at him forever."
-message from Flavio